Chapter 2 - The First Road Trip

The old saying is when two guy hangout it can get a little wild but you add a third it is going to be trouble. Well trouble always around the corner even when just Rio and I hung out. If you added a third person, some commandments were guaranteed to be broken. I am pretty sure that we have broken at least seven of them on a given night. Here is an example; I had a friend that needed some help putting her stuff in storage for the school break. She attended Howard University, she stayed at the Meridian. Rio and Bolo agreed to help me but when we got there these two fools left for about two hours.
Upon returning they said they went door to door to see if any of the girls in the dorm needed help.

And this us into the next chapter, the road trips. As I mentioned before none of these posting are embellished. This first road trip was Myrtle beach for bike week. If the term was out back then, it should have been called ratchet week. There were so much booty and boobies exposure on streets while we there but we didn't mind. That picture of the Accord was the chariot to our road trips. Since Flanagan and Rio were in North Carolina Bolo and I drove down from Laurel. The ride started off good. He brought up all of the conspiracy things about the Illuminati, mason, etc but halfway into Virginia he started babbling some bullshit about I am accepted in corporate America and he's not. I was like dude you speak perfect English; actually you speak the Queen's English. At this point I really needed to toss one back and we couldn't get there fast enough. 

Thank god we finally arrive at Rio spot and he had some beers waiting. Rio live in Fayetteville, North Carolina and nothing to do in this town is an understatement.  As you know us, we found some trouble to get into. We decided to go to a massage parlor, I know not the best idea but we are not right in our heads. That experiment ended up with some yelling. I'm not sure what exactly happen but they said the cops were on the way and in my mind I was thinking that I would run back to Maryland before getting locked up in this hick town. As things were escalating and my heart begin to race. Rio just sat down at the bar and sipped on his drink while he watches the show M.A.S.H. I was ready to run out of there but I end up waiting to see how this was going to play out. The cops never showed and the money was given back.

The next day we arrive to Myrtle and jumped right into it. We had our spirits in hand and I had the

video camera with some very colorful commentary that I provided. Damn, I wish had that video, we would have gotten paid but some serious editing would have be needed first. So we are out here having fun and not place to stay. Pretty smart right but we did not care. After a long day fun in the sun we started to head back to our car I hear a cry out hey there. It was a group of ladies in one of the hotel's poolside Jacuzzi. They were my type but I lowered my voice as deep as possible and said hello there ladies. Next you know I got down to my skivvies and jump in. At this time night was fully upon us and when got back to the car. There were a group of people standing around talking. Rio screamed out yo can I get a brew? Next you know we were out there drinking and talking to them. It started to get later into the night as this girl walked up to us. We began to talk and I asked her if she was from Myrtle. She was actually from Philly and just move into the apartment building that we were standing in front of and drinking about 6 months prior. I said whaaattt homegirl come here and give me a hung because I am from Philly too. I told her this street that I lived on and she knew where exactly I was talking. Mind you, I am not from Philly and the only reason I knew of this street was because I got lost two weeks prior in Philly on a business trip. Eventually the during our conversation she asked where were staying. I told her that was in the plans but we don't know yet. After another hour of talking she said that we were cool and she will check with her roommate because they had plenty of space for us to crash. Next Rio said G you do have that gift to gab but Bolo then added that I look harmless and trusting to people. Anyway, she came back and we were thumbs on a place to crash until Bolo said something inappropriate. She walked off saying it nice knowing you guys.

After jackass major screw up we hit the strip. There were a lot people out and about. We got invited to the party in one of the hotel rooms but the spirits had gotten me and Rio at this point. We remembered the hotel name but not the room number. So we went and randomly knocked on door looking for that party. After while we got tired of looking and just party on the streets with the rest of the folks. The night ended with us pulling into a Walmart parking lot and sleeping. The next day we finally got a room and starting the same things all over again but the big dude was always mad throughout the weekend. Finally the weekend had concluded and we headed back home. I had to make the drive back home with the angry big black dude. Like those Directv commercials, don't take roads trips with the angry big black dude.

Juan Carlos       

The Failed Laurel Experiment

The wing-women is lie! I always heard that women make a good wing-man but I have to strongly disagree. Bolo, my roommate's brother was now treating our place like it was his weekend vacation spot. It was cool because Dill worked just about every weekend. I mentioned previously that Bolo was this muscle-bound dude; he got his from the dude in the picture. At times I questioned his decision making but now as I think about it Bolo may have been juicing because this dude would get mad so easily. One minute he is laughing and then the next he pissed off. I was just waiting for him to turn green and burst out of his shirt. 

Bolo and I partied all over the place especially in DC. My problem was the drive back to Laurel which was about a 30 minute. I would ask this dude to stay up until we made it back home but by the time we hit the second block dude was snoring. Here is where things got very different. We met this group of girls that we labeled as the crew. The crew started out very cool. They would come over for gatherings and I would be the bartender like Tom Cruise in Cocktails. I was mixing some mean drinks but none of that not flipping or juggling bottles shit because I didn't want to crack head open. I would use the shaker and give this cheesy smile. My bartender face, what's up. 

The problems began when I started notice that the crew was popping over just about every Saturday. They would go to the club and then crash at my place afterwards. I was like damn dudes this is not a flop house. It got really bad when a couple of times I was entertaining a guest and sitting in the living room trying to watching a movie. All of sudden, I would hear a knock at the door then Bolo would answer it. Remember that I said the weekend vacation spot for him. Next I would hear a bunch of women voices entering my place. My guest would look at look at me like who are those girls. I tried to give this dopey look like I don't know them. Then of course one of them went into the kitchen and said hi Greg. No way of playing that off. 

The apartment was the party and after party spot now to the crew but they did introduce me to a few of their friends. One of them we hung out a few times but nothing to serious and I started to get the feeling that she was crazy. I now have a six sense for but that is another story. I asked the crew why they did not tell me that shortly was a little off. The reply was they knew but they told her about me and she kept asking to meet. Well this time I thought that I was being smart. I was entertaining again but instead of the living room, I decided to watch a movie in the bedroom just in-case of any unexpected guess. You know it happened and that friend was with them too. She heard that I was entertaining and tried to pick the lock to my door with a screwdriver until they escorted her from the premises. Bolo said that screamed some not so kind words and claim that she was going to stab me. I thanked Bolo and the crew because now I had the fear of being poked in the ribs. Anyway one of the crew had their very own house party and then it happened I saw her schoolmate. We were inside but her hair was blowing in the wind and she was basking on her own light. We talked for the remaining of the party, she said just got out of a very long relationship. I felt no need to charm or my flirtation one liners that I had added to my game. She even passed my crazy test. At the point, I was carrying those ink blots test that they use to evaluate people. Ok, that may be a little extreme but she passed the crazies. At the end of the party, I did not go for the number because I thought the crew would take of their boy. That is how you do it, G.A.M.E. Mind you that they had introduce me several of their friend that I went out with. They were ok but I wasn't feeling any of them. Hell that is probably the reason that one wanted to stab me because I went out with their other friends too. Sorry to get off track there but I just knew that I was in there with girl from the party. The crew showed up the next weekend as usually and I asked them the question. They said that she said I was nice, a little too nice to believe but since she got out of a relationship she did not want to start anything seriously. I understood that but I asked the crew a question of why your other friends were so intrigued to meet me. Their reply and I have to quote this shit "we told them that we hand out at this nice looking guy place that likes to party, he's a little on the wild side and very friendly with the ladies". So after a short pause, I asked them so what exactly did you say to the girl from the party. Another quote, "yeah, he is one of the nicest guys out there". WTF, I immediate pointed to the door and told them to leave. They thought it was a joke until I open the door and you know the rest. Once again, the wing-women are a myth and they are not the best wing-man. 

Juan Carlos   

The Laurel Experiment Part 2

As the memories are starting to flood back because of the chronicles, I think of that one line from the

Hangover 2 which describes us. That line is "seriously, what is wrong with you guys?" and the response "so much, I don't even know where to begin". The only that difference between us and the wolf pack is that a few us would compete for the role of that simpleton Allen.

Well the maturation from my early behavior pattern to whatever I have become had fully completed. Even now today, I will talk to just about anyone and everyone that crosses my path which as lead to some very interesting tales. For example, last week and this older lady, let's say very older sat next to me and I spoke which I normally do. We had a brief convo and then things with south quickly, midway through she began to rub my arm which was not a problem but her hand inch closer to my chest and almost tried to climb into my chair, I looked around and wanted to yell out, I need an adult, stranger danger.

But back to the story, at this point you could have called me skittles because I was out there tasting the rainbow. This rainbow of women has always left me with some tales but that is a story for another post. I am not going to put any them on blast except the NY chick. That shit is so worth telling. 

Rio could not believe the change and now he so was chilled because of the girlfriend. Talking about a complete switch in roles but he made a good point, if I acted this way in college we would have got kicked out. 

Soon there after the girlfriend thing ended for him so you know each time he was in town it was always something to remember. One weekend this girl bought Bolo a half keg of beer. A rather odd thing for just 3 guys but we tried to drank that damn keg. We called so many people to come over to help us but of course everyone was so busy. I had stop drinking around 2 am because I couldn't do it anymore but these two fools sat on the balcony with the keg till got back up. We are talking about 4 hours later and they were still working on that keg as they are watching the sunrise. 

One of the weekends that really sticks out is when Rio and I was at the liquor store grabbing the products for a night of video gaming. Yes, a chilled evening but he got a call from this girl that he had been chatting it up online. She mentioned that she and her sister had a hotel room. This hotel was in Charlottesville which was about 3 hours away. He asked me what's up, my response was that I'm bleeping gangsta, I'm down for whateva, ride or die. Anyone, who knows me can tell you that I'm far from gangsta. I'm not a bitch but far from gangsta. We gas up the Accord and hit the road. During the ride, he said that he only seen a picture that she sent and they could be big girls. We finally got there and we met the sister at a gas station. Mind you we only saw her from neck up. Got to the hotel and she stepped out the car. Her calves were bigger than Charles Barkley. I immediately turned into the biggest bitch ever. We had a pint of Hennessy that we tried to down before Rio and I got out of the car. My hand was shaken the bottle with each swing. We walked into the room, do you remember that long hallway effect that happens in those horror movies? I seen that and it was kinda late to drive back after downing that Hennessy but I was scared and I didn't think this new swag could talk its way out of second degree assault (take our cookies). I really don't think it was enough alcohol in the state of Virginia to get me drunk that night. I ended up sitting on the long dresser that those hotels have. Eventually, I ended up laying in the fetal position on that dresser and sleeping. I woke up unscaved. They left in the middle of the night. Even if we were violated, the police would have laugh at us if we reported it and never pressed charges.

Juan Carlos 

The Laurel Experiment

Well, that year at the townhouse was fun. Rio got a job in North Carolina and a girlfriend, Flanagan went to NC too. The smart choice was to get a place with Dill in laurel. We both were considered mature beyond our years therefore we would make good roommates. It was a great idea. He work at night and I during the day. The place was spotless. I don't know what the hell really happen but something snap in me one day, maybe I was bored but who knows . I decided to go out after work by

myself to this lounge and it was on popping. I must have talked to at least 20 people in that place, if they had camera on phones back then, I would have took more pictures and selfies than the Kardashian minus the duck face poses. I was quite the social butterfly that night.

I completely changed from a co-worker making a comment to me that she had dream about me and I started to quiver in my boots to chasing women like I was a big game booty hunter. I think that I stole that from LL Cool J. Maybe that was a little extreme but I discovered my swag aka my ability to charm. That charm has put me into a lot of situations, a lot freaking interesting situations.  

I was out there meeting and greeting like it was the new drug. The downfall, I went on a lot bad dates. Lesson number 1, if you were drunk in the club the night before and you wake up with a number in your pocket and you don't remember the person and you have to ask friend what that person look like. JUST STOP AND TRASH IT! Bolo, my roommate brother told me this girl I met at the club the night before was alright looking therefore I called her and we agreed to go out. Being the gentlemen that my mom raised, I went to pick her up in Virginia. I'm considered as a good cook so I always offered dinner out or I could cook dinner. Most of the time they always pick me cooking for them. When I got there, she was not quite the looker at all. While we are riding  back to my spot she dozed off immediately during our conversation. I told you that movies stuff I actually lived it before it was theaters. She then mentioned that she was narcoleptic. Yes, that scene from Deuce Bigalow, I experienced it. She probably dose off 3-4 times on me. This is not brightest point in my life but when we got back to my place, I went into the bathroom and called my boy to tell him to call me in 20 minutes to say that his car is broke down and needed my help. I took her back home and I did not even let her close the door before I sped off.

Juan Carlos